I realised that I am Rob in High Fidelity. Half in, half out of everything, not quite committing for fear of, well anything. Except marriage of course, I am totally committed to Mr Smith with only half a dreamer's eye on keeping Richard Armitage in the wings, just incase Mr Smith leaves me you understand. And I'm committed to my job, because they trust me and pay me to turn up everyday, and give me free shit and I hate to let people down.
Except myself. I'm apparently ok with letting myself down. So this was it, my epiphany - I am not 100% committed to myself. And that's just daft.
Do you know what I want to be when I grow up? A writer. How will I achieve such a magical dream? By fucking writing, a seemingly simple task yet something I find a million reasons not to do.
So this blog is going to be my daily writing workshop. Probably it will just become a forum for me to talk about what I ate or listened to, but I don't think it matters (especially since no one reads it anyway!) it's just about practice, getting ideas out of my over full head and on to digital paper.
And I will tweet it every day so maybe people will read it and that will freak me out. But if I want to be an actual writer then I want people to read my actual writing so this can be a good place to start.
(Although I'd like to add as a disclaimer the book I'm actually writing is a YA book about time travelling, so you might not get a full flavour of my style in these blog entries. But hey, I'm also writing a dramromcom novel and have the start of a dystopian end of the world novel so I don't really have a distinct style per se.)