Update on cows and writing retreat - proper day 1

So I woke up and all the cows had gone. Can't help feeling it's a ruse to make me feel at ease before they attack! It has been a busy but enjoyable day; an early start to watch the rugby World cup kick off then to the local market in Matakana to get supplies for the day(one of my favourite places in the world, you can stick your Angkor Wat - can you buy feijoa wine there? I think not). If you're curious supplies were 3 divine summer rolls, a bag of rocket, the most amazing kumara bread and a block of red Leicester cheese. (I may need to get more supplies tomorrow as it turns out writing makes me want to eat a lot. Or perhaps because it's the only distraction I've left myself. Either way I have eaten a LOT today). Writing was good though - current standing is 30,218 words and I really would like to hit 32,000 before the evening is through. Which isn't going to happen if I keep faffing about here.

Writers retreat - evening 1....

The cows haven't taken me yet. Finishing this evening's writing efforts on 26,100 words..... Time for Laphroaig and I Capture the Castle. Nanite!

Should I fear the cows?

You know what they say about cows.....quiet, docile creatures happy to meander in the field waiting for their time to be made into burgers. But I am sitting in a cottage with a view (and oh what a view!) and right in the bottom 3rd of that view are a bunch of cows meandering closer and closer to my area....Everyone knows it's the quiet ones you have to watch. What if they turn on me? Will they know I'm a vegetarian? Anyhoo, cows aside I am sitting at a table drinking a beer and looking out on to the impending sunset over Leigh and its surrounding area. It's quiet, except for my monkey style typing and that excited bird singing. I'm here to write so I thought it'd be good to start it off with a blog entry, just to track my motivation when I remove myself from everything I love and know (Andy, Netflix, the heat pump and our wonderful bed). So, starting at 25,474 words......what will Monday morning look like?!

Again. Or.

I had an epiphany yesterday. (And it wasn't just that I'm not 100% sure how to spell epiphany, thank the lord or Bill Gates for spell check). 

I realised that I am Rob in High Fidelity. Half in, half out of everything, not quite committing for fear of, well anything. Except marriage of course, I am totally committed to Mr Smith with only half a dreamer's eye on keeping Richard Armitage in the wings, just incase Mr Smith leaves me you understand. And I'm committed to my job, because they trust me and pay me to turn up everyday, and give me free shit and I hate to let people down.

Except myself. I'm apparently ok with letting myself down. So this was it, my epiphany - I am not 100% committed to myself. And that's just daft.

Do you know what I want to be when I grow up? A writer. How will I achieve such a magical dream? By fucking writing, a seemingly simple task yet something I find a million reasons not to do. 

So this blog is going to be my daily writing workshop. Probably it will just become a forum for me to talk about what I ate or listened to, but I don't think it matters (especially since no one reads it anyway!) it's just about practice, getting ideas out of my over full head and on to digital paper. 

And I will tweet it every day so maybe people will read it and that will freak me out. But if I want to be an actual writer then I want people to read my actual writing so this can be a good place to start.

(Although I'd like to add as a disclaimer the book I'm actually writing is a YA book about time travelling, so you might not get a full flavour of my style in these blog entries. But hey, I'm also writing a dramromcom novel and have the start of a dystopian end of the world novel so I don't really have a distinct style per se.) 

Back once again with the renegade yogi...

I am a third in to my yoga challenge, and honestly a bit over it now. Conversely my body is loving it; I am now able to not only keep my standing leg straight and balanced for standing had to knee pose, but I can also almost kick my leg out straight. My triangle pose on the left side is amazing, though right side not so much. My standing bow pose is almost entirely graceful and I now tots own Camel, usually.... 

My mind however longs for a night where I don't go into a hot sweaty room for 90 minutes, where I can be at home on a weeknight before it gets dark and with time for Lisa's dips before actual tea.  But my mind also knows its only for another 20 days and I'm definitely sleeping better so this may end up being a yearly challenge. Like the half marathon has become. 

Things that really irk me about Bikram yoga :-

When sweat gets in your eye - it really fucking stings! When sweat gets in your ears and blocks them. Very off putting. The newbies who don't understand how it works collectively, and ignore the teacher's instructions regarding savasana, leave the room during class or immediately after class has finished, with no time for chilling, personally my favourite part of Bikram. Those 2 to 10 minutes of lying in a darkened room in complete silence focussing on your achievements over the last 90 minutes. That different teachers have different temperature settings. Be consistent please! I have big hips and shoulders now, I'm not blaming Bikram entirely, a summer of cheese totally added to that but Bikram does make muscles appear where running would burn fat. 

It's been one week.....

.....since I began Dry July and my personal 30 days of Bikram yoga challenge. Strangely, or perhaps not because of the latter, I haven't missed alcohol at all. The 30 day challenge is something I've often thought about doing since I started doing Bikram yoga 2 years ago. It always seemed a bit mental so I never did it. However, Dry July is something I've been doing for 2 years as well, and it's always been quite hard - especially after a hard day at work when the first thought is mmmm, wine (always followed by mmmm, rice crackers and Lisa's dip....but that's just a whole other reason to do 30 days of yoga really). So this year I thought, well if I'm out of the house doing yoga every evening, I won't miss alcohol and by golly, I was right! 

Not that 30 days of yoga is a walk in the park. I have never done yoga on consecutive days and recently, have managed maybe once a week. So on top of the distraction, I always wanted to see if I could do it and of course make my monthly Bikram pass worthwhile.

So day 1 was especially hard. I found I was nervous, 30 days of not getting home until 7.30 or getting up early to be at the 6am class - how would that work? The class was hard and I hadn't slept well the night before. I found during my final savasana all I wanted to do was sleep and it took me a long time to get up and have a shower. 

Day 2 & 3 seemed better, my head was clearer, and after all, it's only one month in my life! Class was good and my hubby had settled into a good routine of having tea ready for me as soon as I got in. For day 4 a work event meant I needed to go to the early morning class. I was the only person there. Mortification quickly passed as I realised what an amazing opportunity this was to learn how to do postures better. Anita was fantastic at giving me pointers and made me feel a lot better about my inability to master standing head to knee stance. It took her one year and it was real determination on her part to be able to do it. It reminded me I need to leave my mind talk at the door, something I still need to master but I am sure I will get there! 

Day 5 was Friday and not only did I not want to go for the early morning class but I also wanted a nice Friday evening with Andy, so I did a sneaky, and went to the express lunchtime class. It was amazing! I had been unsure, as how can 90 minutes be condensed into 60 and am I good enough to be a intermediate student? But I totally enjoyed it; there were elements of flow yoga, and less savasanas and also less time for thinking. It was great for me to just get into a posture without overthinking! Sadly a 2 hour lunch is not something I can often get away with so until I move to a job in the city, this may not happen regularly. Shame. 

The weekend was easy enough - both 8am classes although early mornings do sometime means wobbly legs and since Saturday night was a late one, also sleepy legs. 

But that's it - week one done! 25% of Dry July/yoga frenzy completed. Only 3 weeks to go! 

Regrets, I've had a few....

Oh my days - I have been super crap at updating this haven't I? (Though if you think this is bad, you should check out my Candyretro Tumblr blog.....at least 1 year and counting....)So, what have I been up to? Well, I've increased my obsession with The National to somewhere just a little below stalker level, discovered Spotify, watched some E! red carpets with VS via the Facebook messaging facility and booked flights to Wellington for The Hobbit premiere, even though I don't have tickets to it. Feel Andy is going to be so happy when it's all over! This is all small fry however - here is my top 3 of big things I've done since March 2012.... 1. Went travelling through Indonesia. A very small part of it, but still....Yogjakarta, Gili Isles, Flores and Ubud, Bali. Amazing experience, sometimes challenging, but ultimately so rewarding. Of course, I planned on writing about it - but didn't manage very much. Will post what I have though! Before this we spent a fantastic 5 days in New York that just swelled my desire to live there, and a wonderful month in the UK - family, friends, travel, the Boss and John Simm. 2. Moved back to Auckland. It was a decision that had to made whilst we were away; housing / financial things had happened in Christchurch, and Andy was made an offer and it all seemed a bit too convenient. It also felt to me a little rude to come back and then leave again, but it's what happened. I wasn't sure how I felt about returning to Auckland now my 2 closest friends have left, but I can truly say it feels like coming home. I'm not sure I could ever get bored of that skyline view of the city, or Rangitoto just sitting in the harbour as I drive along Tamaki Drive. 3. Had my book professionally appraised. Wow. So wasn't prepared for that. The critique made me realise though I'd been aiming for a genre I originally wanted nothing to do with. I'd coined Mis-shapes as Chick lit because I'm a woman writer and it's about relationships....but I never wanted romantic heroines, and my heroes are meant to be flawed. Of course, this doesn't fit with the Chick lit model and so when the critique responded saying pretty much that, a light bulb went on and off, and on again.....I'd made my book become something I never wanted it to be to fit into a genre, and to appeal to the masses. It was a bit like having someone you've never met tell you your friends are horrible people. I never realised I would take it so personally! The appraiser gave me lots of great tips, and if I'd wanted to continue along the Chick lit road I could change a few character defects, a few romantic couplings and who knows? But I don't. So I'm starting again, but keeping it in the style I wanted - like Nick Hornby - irrelevant perhaps, but ultimately entertaining book about relationships. What is Nick Hornby's genre anyway? If he was a woman would he be Chick lit? I actually hate that phase, and even more so that women are labelled it just because....Grrrr. I have a few thousand words written - for those who did critique it, thank you so much! I haven't ignored you, and I will retain some of the original in the second (4th?) draft. I have a tighter schedule that I plan on sticking to so published in 2013 may still be a realistic dream! Although, clearly should be doing that instead of this.....