tm" Mel was fuck-ugly. This could actually be an understatement. She was 5 ft, with badly dyed hair that resembled orange wire. Her skin was awful and pimply, like a 14 year old boy's, and she unwisely choose to try and hide the giant blemish that was her face by wearing a combination of white face powder (as such a clown would wear) and bright red lipstick, which was usually applied 15 times during the day, and each time very poorly.
People of ugly dispositions generally have something in their favour. A sense of humour, or being helpful or smart; Mel had nothing going for her whatsoever. She had a huge attitude problem, which was akin to the angry black rapper types that she felt such an affinity with. (She was one of those South London girls who thought because they’d shagged a few black boys, and listened to rap that they were in fact black.) She had no sense of humour, no sense of her own personality and was extremely thick. She had a tendency to fuck security guards in the stores she worked in, and would form an attachment that was tantamount to stalking to any man who paid her attention."